This month Diego tried to kill me. I found myself wandering around in a daze, blinking stars from my eyes. Then I spotted him, running for the climbing frame.
That's how my toddler had plotted it. He'd climbed to the top of the slide so I had gone round ready to watch him come down. He changed his mind. Making a swift change in direction, almost levitating, at leopard speed, back the other way.
I reacted as any other mother would do. Turned around as quickly as speed would allow (pretty slow for me), with the plan to grab him and potentially save his life. Instead, I turned and smacked my head straight on the fireman's pole instead. Everything spun. I waddled round to the other side of the slide. Diego was playing happily with another child. Safe. I’d even say unaware, but I know better…
He ignored my presence as I tried to cuddle him. Mortified that the "bumping off mummy" plan had not succeeded. I felt myself struggling to see out of one eye. Phone at the ready, I looked into my ‘selfie’ camera. HUGE black eye. Fabulous.
Surrounded by families and appearing like the lonely mother could not cope, I continued like a pro, stubbornly continuing to play. I am a strong independent woman. Diego played ignorant to my son-inflicted injury.
As we know everything in life is a lesson. From that tear jerking experience I learnt that an angry toddler and a park is a death-trap, so be wary of potential hazards.
On the other hand however, we have also been there every week since and I have made it out alive. So I am currently under the impression that he has given up on his outdoor murder tactics.
Mummy 2 - Toddler 0