Showing posts from September, 2015

Dark Love

Love is not temporary.
It finds not what it wants,
But what it needs.
Love is not dreams but
Must have needs.
Love is not the wave,
Or sunset sweet,
It therefore is the wire
And sometimes it is the seed.
It is not always cherished,
It perishes, Diminishes,
In true love instances,
It momentarily vanishes.
Love is not temporary, but
Temporarily forgotten, yet
more regularly remembered.
Love, it is not instant, or
Sudden - in anger love,
It is suddenly forgotten.
Pain is portrayed by the
Way love portrays it.
The forest of dreams or wood
Of disaster. Love it is
Darkness in matter
Of perfection. Love it is,
Battle from battle
By selection.

Boneata Bell

Forever Close

Your smile melts the center
Of my heart
Like liquid gold.
I miss it, as I miss you
From afar.
Your there, yet you
Are not,
Diverging branches from
A dream,
That always comes,
Yet never leaves.
I miss it, as I miss you
From afar.

Your soul hides the tender
softness of
my fractured hope.
I see it, as I see you
From afar.
Your fire burns,
So hot, within these,
Scolding walls of mine.
Always ahead, yet
forever behind.
I miss it, as I miss you,
From afar.

So forever close,
Yet already mine.

Boneata Bell

To The Sky

It's freedom up here,Up by the stars, We sail up here,  From the depth of our hearts.
I noticed her sitting by the far side of the room. She had this look about her.  One that made me think - Wow. I wanted to be her. - For this split second. She was perfect. Brave. Confident. I could see her tattoos. Her piercings. Her perfections. What a skinny dear. Her low top. High skirt. Careless. Then there's me. Worrying about what everybody thinks. Every word I say. Can it be misinterpreted?  I sat and watched her for a little while. Just a little while. She set me free from this family of, "This is how you must look-be-behave". She made me smile.
She walked away from the stars and kissed the tress as she passed She's up by the stars, We sail up here, From the depths of our hearts.
Boneata Bell 14/09/2015

When Formula Wins

It is hard to explain pain. The kind that cuts into your heart. Eats away at you. That's exactly how I feel every time I think about breastfeeding. It never happened for me, you see. I longed for it. I did try, I tried my hardest, but it didn't work out for us.

I went into labour on my due date, the 18th September 2014. It was the last thing I expected, nobody has their baby on their due date! During my pregnancy I had read every book I could find and dissected every piece of breastfeeding information I could possibly try to remember. I was ready. I didn't prepare for it to go wrong, I had no formula back up in my hospital bag. This WAS going to work, I'd convinced myself.

My beautiful tiny 6lb 11oz baby boy was delivered on September 19th, and put straight to my breast. It hurt, but I expected that. The rush of love I felt for my baby was incredible, beyond any words could ever explain. I winced through the pain, that was probably my first mistake.

It didn't take…